Missouri GOP, Viva Viagra!
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I’m watching with bemusement as Viagra, yes Viagra, becomes the #1 issue in the Missouri GOP Gubernatorial race. The combatants are: Sarah Steelman current state Treasurer and the only Republican I’ve ever voted for on one side and Kenny Hulshof, current US House member and the GOP machine’s pick for Governor on the other.
It started when Steelman, who is great for Treasurer but slightly to the right of Genghis Khan otherwise, accused Hulshof of voting to cover Viagra for Medicare patients and calling into question his conservative credentials. She mentioned it several times during a speech at the Lake of the Ozarks. Hulshof’s campaign shot back that Steelman voted to give Viagra to sex offenders while in the Missouri Senate. Steelman responded that she voted for the Medicaid budget which included Viagra only because it was required by the Federal Government, which of course includes Hulshof.
The latest from the campaigns can be summarized thusly:
Hulshof: Nuh-uh
Steelman: Uh-huh
Hulshof: Nuh-uh, Nuh-uh, Nuh-uh
Steelman: Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh
Hulshof: Nuh-uh times infinity
Steelman: Uh-huh times infinity PLUS ONE!
Now, if I remember my argument technique correctly from childhood, it would seem that the next step is a debate as to whether or not infinity plus one really exists and whether infinity to the infinity power is truly the highest number available.
Actually, the Steelman campaign has already decided what the debate will be, posting a pretend exchange between the campaigns in response to the latest “uh-huh” ad. (I’m not kidding)
I really hope that at some point the campaigns get down to business. The three people running are all on the far ends of the spectrum. Jay Nixon, the Democrat-in-waiting, was Attorney General when Missouri was granted statehood (at least it feels that way) and was excellent in that job but has moved so far to the left that I can’t even see him anymore. As I mentioned, Steelman is to the right of Genghis Khan and Hulshof is shaking hands with him. It will truly come down to whether the urban or rural areas vote more in November as both parties have picked candidates that play to the extreme part of their base. Of course, that leaves moderates (hey, you guys do remember us that make up 40% of the electorate, right?) without much choice.
Maybe that’s why we haven’t gotten anywhere with actual issues, nobody wants to bring them up and show how extreme they really are. Until then, we’re stuck with who voted to give Viagra to the least desirable group.